


The High Art of Flirting

by Palatinedreams



Series: When Stars Collide [3]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Courting Rituals, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Feelings, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:20:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25341592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Palatinedreams/pseuds/Palatinedreams
Summary: Atlantis and Todd's Hive have negotiated on an alliance, and Todd is working on a solution for the feeding problems in Atlantis together with Jennifer Keller and Carson Beckett. It appears that the tall Wraith Commander has developed a romantic interest in the blond doctor, and John offers to teach him the finesses of human courting rituals to make sure that Todd won't fuck it up and damage their collaboration on the medical research for a cure for the Wraith feeding.As it turns out, Todd is not only an eager student, but also a pretty clever one and quick learner when it comes to wooing human women, much to John's own confusion and dismay...
Relationships: Jennifer Keller/Todd the Wraith, John Sheppard/Todd the Wraith
Series: When Stars Collide [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817311
Comments: 54
Kudos: 64





	1. The proposal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bagheerita](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bagheerita/gifts).



> My dear bagheerita,
> 
> as I'd just taken down the John/Todd story _**'The Wraith Way Of Courting'**_ I'd once written for you when I deleted my account six months ago - and just didn't want to repost it - I hope you will like this alternate version of the idea instead as well. The idea to this story popped up in my mind today when I was packing for our holidays, and I was eager to post the first chapter before we'll leave for our vacation tomorrow. :-)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John visits Todd in his lab in Atlantis to ask him about his sudden interest in Dr. Keller, and when Todd doesn't deny it, he offers to teach him the basics of human courting rituals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing oblivious John getting it all wrong when it comes to Todd, I hope that I did it right and that reading this story will be as enjoyable as writing it is for me. <33

“You're spending a lot of time with Dr. Keller,” John says when he strolls into the lab where his special green-skinned buddy is working since sunrise. It's been weeks already since he, Richard Woolsey and Todd's Hives have come to an agreement and negotiated on an alliance, and finding a solution for the feeding problem that is truly working as quickly as possible was one of John and Richard's crucial conditions for said alliance.

As Todd is the most experienced Wraith scientist when it comes to biology and medical science, it was the logical choice that he would be the one working on this solution together with Carson and Dr. Keller.

Apart from that, Todd is also the least scary Wraith of the bunch of Wraith John has to deal with on a daily basis all of a sudden, and John wanted the tricky Commander to be under rather close observation because he still remembers all too well that Todd is a real master in stretching the truth and leaving the really important things out of his information and his stories when it's for his own benefit.

Therefore John insisted on Todd working in Atlantis – and even went so far to let him walk around with only two Marines following him in appropriate distance like two silent black shadows. The Wraith Commander is allowed to work in the lab he's been assigned to without any guards, and he's also gotten his own quarters in Atlantis instead of having to stay in one of the prison cells when he's not working, but as far as John can tell, Todd doesn't spend much time in there. Maybe the furniture is too much accustomed to human standards and needs for his liking – or maybe Todd is just as eager to find a cure for the horrible effects Wraith feeding has on humans so he can go back to his Hive again, this is hard to tell.

Somehow, John had thought that he would stumble over Todd every other minute now, and he feels slightly irritated that the Wraith doesn't seek his company but is apparently pretty fine with staying out of John's sight and way and focusing on his work instead – which he can do for much longer than his human colleagues due to his way of gaining enough energy and nutrients. (John prefers to call it like that instead of using the term 'feeding-on-human-life-force').

If Todd were to gain his nutrients and energy the usual way, John would at least see him in the mess hall, but he isn't, and the colonel with the messy dark hair and the hazel-green eyes found himself mulling over the question when he'd actually last seen the Wraith – or at least caught a brief sight of Todd's black coat and tousled silvery mane - and the answer to this question was more than just a little bit disturbing.

The next question why it is so important to him to see the tall Wraith much more often than he's actually doing is nothing he wants to think about more closely though, and he keeps assuring himself that it's only because he doesn't want to risk anything and make sure that Todd will behave and not cause any serious trouble, of course.

The fact that he actually hasn't seen anything of Todd within three whole days is forming a frown between his brows, and the frown of irritation and concern is still creasing his forehead as he now comes to a halt next to the console where the greenish creature is working. It deepens some more when the Wraith doesn't even bother to look up from what he's working on, but simply continues to type and stare at the screen in front of him, just as if he hadn't wasted a single thought on the hazel-eyed colonel and was actually feeling disturbed by John's unexpected visit.

“Your observation skills are as exceptional and straight to the point as always, Sheppard. I'm impressed.” Todd says despite his seeming unwillingness to acknowledge John's presence in his lab though, and he's sounding vaguely bored. “Working together on a difficult scientific problem usually tends to have such an effect. Maybe you can clarify a little bit further what you wanted to express with your statement?”

The Wraith still doesn't look at him, but there is a sudden tension in his shoulders that hadn't been there when John entered the lab, and his fingers stop their typing as he waits for Sheppard's clarification with a small huff of resigned annoyance.

“You're not spending as much time with Carson as you're spending with her,” John points out, and he doesn't like the sound of his voice, even though he can't tell for sure what's bothering him about his own tone – or why it should be of any importance to him that Todd is spending more time with Dr. Keller than he's spending with Dr. Beckett.

Finally, Todd turns his head to gaze at him from the side. He remains silent for a few seconds, though, and just stares at John as if he were a rare and rather interesting insect the Wraith hadn't seen beforehand.

“Your point, Sheppard?” he inquires after a minute or so, sounding as irritated as John is still feeling.

“Wouldn't it be more logical if you spent more time with Carson – as he's the one who found the retro-virus and is the more experienced of the two of them?”

“According to the information I have, it was you agreeing to Dr. Beckett's request to relieve him from our research for the time being, so he can visit the planet where Michael's alternated version of the Hoffanian disease is spreading at the moment, and I still fail to understand what you are trying to convey here, Sheppard.”

John wants to groan and roll his eyes at Todd's stubbornness and ignorance, but he knows that it would be pretty childish, and so he resists the urge. The problem is that he fails to understand what's bothering him so much about the fact that Todd and Dr. Keller seem to have grown close over the last weeks himself, and how can he explain something to Todd he can't even explain to himself? All he knows is that he's feeling confused and conflicted about it, and that he's pissed off because he hasn't seen Todd in three days. There is absolutely no reason for him to feel pissed off about any of these things at all, and he should actually be happy and content that the Wraith is not getting on his nerves all of the time, but he isn't, and it makes him feel pissed off with himself, too.

“You like her, don't you?” he just blurts out, much to his own astonishment and dismay, and the Wraith inclines his head and glances at him. From the way he's wrinkling his forehead, he's most likely contemplating John's sanity, which is what John should probably do as well as he must have lost all sanity and reason somewhere on his way through Atlantis' long corridors.

“Jennifer is an amazing scientist. Her presence is most inspiring and encouraging.” Todd says, and John thinks that he must have had something for lunch that didn't really agree with him, because his stomach feels a little queasy all of a sudden. So Dr. Keller is 'Jennifer' now – while he himself is still 'Sheppard' or sometimes even just 'Colonel'. That's not what he'd expected to happen so soon, and it arouses the question what Keller can provide that he himself can't.

“Really?” he murmurs as he tries to ignore the strange feeling in his stomach.

“She would most certainly be a formidable queen.” Todd adds thoughtfully, and it's not really helpful with his sudden mysterious sickness either.

“She and Rodney broke up a while ago,” John says to distract himself from his discomfort, watching Todd's reaction to his words much more closely than he cares to admit.

“So she told me, Sheppard.”

“Do you want to court her, now that she's on the market again?” John asks, his lunch doing somersaults in his stomach. He swallows and straightens his shoulders.

“Court her?” Todd gazes at him with a bemused expression on his alien but still so striking features. John wonders whether or not Dr. Keller – Jennifer – is thinking the same when she looks at Todd – and if she's seeing the male in the tall Wraith Commander, or just the outstanding and skilled scientist he actually is.

“Human females want to be courted, Todd,” John explains, and he's proud of himself that he has his voice under control and is actually able to handle this professionally. “I'm not sure how this is working in your culture? Do your queens want to be courted – or do they prefer to do the courting themselves?”

Todd's expression is unreadable, and his voice is just a low rumble when he says:

“Queens do not court, Sheppard. They don't need to, they demand.”

“Hmm, I see.” It's actually pretty logical that queens don't bother themselves about such things like courting. They're absolutist rulers, they probably just need to flick their fingers and each and every single member of their crews will lie willingly before their feet.

“Human women like to be courted though, wooed and showered with attention, so if you want to conquer Dr. Keller's heart, you should approach her slowly and flirt with her instead of going straight to the point, Todd,” he says, and the Wraith gazes down at him with glittering yellow-golden eyes.

“I assume that you are an expert in these things then - and volunteering to introduce me to the finesses of human courting rituals, Sheppard?” he inquires curiously, and John shifts from one foot to the other and offers Todd a crooked smile.

“Probably not an expert, but as I've once been married, I can at least teach you the basics, I guess – and I'm definitely better at these things than McKay or Ronon,” he says, and the Wraith slowly nods his head.

“I assume that asking Dr. McKay to help me courting the woman he has been involved with not so long ago would not appear to be wise. Not to mention that Ronon Dex' 'flirting' skills might be a little bit more rustic than the average when it comes to your human courting rituals, so I would be most grateful if you were willing to lend me a helping hand here and teach me the high art of flirting, Sheppard,” he states, and John feels a cold shudder run down on his spine at the mere thought of Ronon trying to teach a Wraith how to flirt with a human woman. It would actually be a hilarious thought, if it wasn't as scary as it actually is.

He's still feeling pretty queasy, but this way he'll at least get the chance to spend some time with his green-skinned buddy and make sure that Todd won't fuck this up and scare Keller away. They still need a solution for the feeding problem as soon as possible, and they cannot risk that Todd's romantic interest in her will ruin all of their hard work.

This is at least what John is telling himself when he proffers his hand to Todd to fix their deal and Todd takes it very carefully with his glove-covered right to shake it, after looking at John's hand as if he'd never really seen it before this moment.

“We'll start with your first lesson tomorrow in the evening, Todd,” he announces, and his lunch is doing another flip in his stomach. “Meet me in the jumper bay at 20 hundred when you've finished working with Dr. Keller for the day.”

The tall Commander inclines his head. “I will be punctual, Sheppard,” he promises, and Sheppard turns to leave his lab.

“Before I forget it, women like to get small presents, flowers, chocolate or something like that. It makes them feel cherished and loved.”

“I see. Do you happen to know Jennifer's favorite flowers or chocolate?” Todd wants to know, glancing expectantly at him.

John feels himself blushing. “Uhm, sorry, I don't. Maybe you can ask McKay about these things without arousing any suspicions?” he murmurs before almost fleeing out of the lab, and he's asking himself with inward groans what he's just gotten himself into on his entire way back to his quarters.


	2. Lesson 1: A Walk in the Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has scheduled a first lesson with Todd, how to take a walk with your favorite lady and make small talk with her. Therefore, it's a good thing that he can start into the day with freshly brewed coffee and his favorite energy bars...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear bagheerita,  
> I'm so happy that you like your story, it's so much fun to write it for you!! .-)

John doesn't sleep well that night, and he's still tired and yawning on the whole way to the mess hall after his usual morning run and taking a very long and very cold shower in the fruitless attempt to shake off his tiredness.

His mysterious sickness has eased overnight, at least that, and John is inclined to think that he'd just caught some kind of stomach bug that is already wearing off again. He actually feels hungry after his run when he enters the mess hall, but he loses his appetite right away again when his eyes are falling onto the couple sitting on a small table in one of the corners, their heads tilted towards each other in secret and meaningful conversation.

Dr. Keller looks fresh like morning dew and well rested, her long blond hair falling into her face as she gestures with her hands to emphasize what she's saying as she explains something to the Wraith Commander. Her plate is still filled with half of her breakfast, but she ignores the food and gazes intently at Todd for agreement as she listens to his response with adoring eyes and almost breathless fascination.

John can't see much of Todd's face because his long silver-white hair is covering most of it, his thick mane tousled as always and cascading untamed over his shoulders and his back. He's sitting very still while he's talking though, just as if Keller had cast a spell on him, and John's queasiness comes back when he watches Todd reaching out with his clawed left hand to stroke some of the long blond strands out of Jennifer's face, carefully and almost tenderly. They're so engaged in their conversation that they don't seem to notice John, who's standing in the doorway like glued to the floor and as if he'd just run against an invisible wall.

Two members of Rodney's scientist team pushing their way past John rather rudely wakes him up from his own paralyzed state at last, and John retreats hastily and as quietly as possible because he really doesn't want to get caught staring at Todd and Keller like this.

The way to his office is awfully long, and John is painfully aware of the furtive glances the other New Lanteans are darting at him as he's walking through the corridors on rather wobbly legs and with a greenish face that speaks volumes of his poor state.

His office is empty and silent, and John pushes the door shut and leans against it with a groan and closes his eyes for a moment, asking himself why the sight of Dr. Keller and Todd sitting together in the mess hall like old and very close friends - (or rather like a couple on a date) – is disturbing him so much. He truly likes Jennifer, and he has come to tolerate the Wraith, so he should actually be happy for them, right? It was him offering Todd to teach him the finesses of human courting rituals after all, so why does he feel like screaming and throwing things against a wall all of a sudden?

The dark-haired colonel groans and opens his eyes again, blinking in surprise when he finds a pot sitting on his desk, right in the middle of it, together with a large cup and three of his favorite energy bars. They're the ones with hazelnut and chocolate flavor that he likes best, but which are usually already not available anymore when he's finally managing to go to the officer who's assigned to the storage and supplies rooms and responsible for the rations of the SGA teams.

Energy bars are John's breakfast or lunch on most days in Atlantis because there is always so much to do, and the next emergency and off-world mission is usually already waiting for him, so having three regular meals in the mess hall has become an almost insoluble task for him. It's not so bad as the energy bars are actually pretty sufficient substitutes and providing him with the nutrients he needs, but he doesn't really like the other flavors that much, and John can't even remember when he has last gotten the chance to have not only one hazel-nut-chocolate bar, but even three of them.

John pushes himself away from the door to stalk over to his desk, and his stomach rumbles loudly in anticipation of being filled with his favorite snack any time soon. His unknown benefactor even took their time to arrange the bars, the pot and the cup nicely in the middle of his desk, and John inhales deeply the wonderful smell of freshly brewed hot and strong coffee when he opens the pot to fill the cup with his first morning coffee.

The coffee is exactly like he loves it best, his favorite blend and apparently hand-brewed and not made with a coffee machine. John takes another deep breath and closes his eyes again, this time in pure bliss. After the awful start and his failed attempt to have breakfast in the mess hall, this here is like heaven on earth, and John sits down on his chair and rips the package of the first bar open to take a large bite. The hazel-nut-chocolate mixture is melting on his tongue, its wonderful and delicious flavor making his taste buds literally explode in exaltation and sensual overload, and John leans back in his chair and puts his feet onto his desk, thinking that he really deserves this small luxury after all the bad things that happened to him over the last days.

John sighs happily as he savors the energy bar to the fullest, taking small sips from the hot coffee in between to prolong his heavenly experience, and he wonders who of his friends or colleagues has been so kind and thoughtful enough to make his day become so much better than it had actually started. There is no sign of the identity of his secret benefactor anywhere in sight though, and John hums to himself as he tries to solve the puzzle.

Maybe it was Rodney. The blue-eyed genius is much more attentive when it comes to these things than people usually give him credit for, most likely because of his own allergy against certain foods like citrus fruits. Rodney definitely knows how John likes his coffee best, or which energy bars he prefers, and they've had a minor quarrel the day before yesterday, so maybe it was him to make up with him again.

Major Lorne on the other hand knows the preferences of his superior as well, and Teyla has come to know John and his likings pretty well over the last years, too. Even Ronon probably knows which kind of food John prefers to eat by now, so the list of people knowing his eating preferences is actually much longer than John has thought at first.

Whoever it was who gifted him with the bars and the coffee though, they obviously did not want to reveal their identity to him, and the puzzle John cannot solve doesn't diminish his joy about the unexpected treats, but actually makes him feel cherished and appreciated in a very special and wonderful way.

Even writing the normally so hated reports is going smoothly and easily on this morning, and each time John is stuck with one of them, he only needs to look at the two other bars or take a sip from the coffee to feel new energy flowing through his body. He almost forgets his irritation about Todd and Keller's sudden closeness as the day goes on, and he's surprised when the shadows are growing longer and he realizes that he'll better get prepared for the first lesson he wants to teach the Wraith about the high art of flirting with a woman.

He grabs a hasty early dinner – or late lunch – in the mess hall, and luck stays on his side because neither Jennifer, nor Todd, are anywhere in sight when he enters the hall. Rodney and Radek are there, discussing a problem but welcoming John at their table without giving away any hint that one of them could be John's mysterious benefactor. John listens to them quietly while he gobbles down his food, and he excuses himself soon afterwards and heads back to his quarters to take another quick shower and change into other clothes, dark jeans, a casual shirt and his favorite leather jacket. Teaching Todd how to flirt properly in his uniform would surely diminish the effect, this is at least what he's telling himself as he regards himself in the mirror, it's really not because he wants to present himself at his best and prove to the Wraith that there is more about him than just the Air Force colonel, of course not.

His heart is beating faster in his chest when he approaches the Jumper bay and sees Todd already standing there and waiting for him, even though it's still five minutes until the appointed time. John is not quite sure, but it looks as though the Wraith had gone so far to brush his usually ruffled mane, and John feels his palms go damp, even though there is really no reason for that.

Todd is his Wraith buddy, someone John has learned to tolerate and endure if he can't avoid him, it's not as if he'd secretly been looking forward to spending some quality time with him and have the Wraith all for himself for once, no way. He's just helping Todd to conquer Keller's heart, and he'll happily go separate ways with Todd again when his mission is accomplished.

“Ah, Sheppard, you're punctual,” Todd greets him with a content rumble, and John frowns.

“Sure I am. I'm always punctual,” he retorts, feeling slightly offended, and Todd inclines his head.

“I remember quite a few times when you were not punctual, critical times when I feared that everything would go all wrong if you didn't show up any time soon, Sheppard.” he states, and John's frown of irritation deepens.

“Hey, that was on missions when I had no control of the situation Todd. You're not going to hold that against me now, are you? I remember a few times when you weren't punctual and I'd have needed you to be punctual just as well as you do!” he grumbles, thinking briefly that this is not a good start to the first flirting lesson he wants to teach Todd.

“Hmm,” Todd utters noncommittally, gazing down at John with a small frown of his own.

John sighs and straightens his shoulders, and the thought of his secret gifter and his delicious breakfast helps him to keep his cool instead of starting a stupid argument with his student right here in the Jumper bay.

“First thing you'll have to learn, Todd. You'll never chide a lady for being late – neither will you praise her for being punctual. The real gentleman is patient and understanding and will never be mentioning such things. He will make her compliments about her looks and her clothes or her hairdo instead – and always tell her that her appearance is more than worth the wait.”

“Hmm,” Todd repeats, “I see. Very well, John. You look indeed less ruffled than you usually do,” he says, his eyes traveling over John's own appearance in thoughtful observation. John is about to reprimand him again, but Todd is already speaking up again before he can object.

“This jacket suits you quite well, Sheppard. You should wear it more often.”

Todd's eyes are glittering in the shadows of the setting sun that is shining through the opened ceiling of the Jumper bay, and John swallows down what he wanted to say and feels his cheeks warm up under the close scrutiny of a pair of green-golden cat's eyes.

“Uhm, thank you, Todd. Shall we, then?” he gestures to the next Jumper, suddenly at a loss for words, and Todd inclines his head once more.

“Of course, Sheppard. After you, please.” Somehow the damn Wraith has managed to adapt the pose of a perfect gentleman despite his scary vampire looks, his razor-sharp teeth and his claws, and John feels this strange flutter in his stomach again. He can only hope that he hasn't caught another stomach bug yet again, and he lifts his chin up to hide his confusion and strides towards the rear of the Jumper, opening the hatch with a mental command. It has taken him a lot of time and practice to achieve mental control over the Jumper even when he's not sitting in the pilot's chair, and he darts a quick glance over his shoulder to see whether or not Todd is thoroughly impressed by his achievement.

The tall Wraith follows him with a stoic face, but a brief grin tugs at his gray lips when he catches John looking expectantly at him, and he's apparently sensing what John wants from him, because he tilts his head and rumbles in a low voice:

“You know that it's normal for Wraith to maneuver and control their vessels through a mental link, but I must admit that I'm astonished about your ability to do the same with a Jumper. Only few of the old Lanteans were capable of that, Sheppard.”

“Thank you.” John lifts his chin a little bit higher, attempting to sit down in the pilot's chair, but Todd is faster than he is and gently pushes him to the side to bend over the seat and brush off some invisible grains of dust and blow over the helm and the backrest of his seat a few times.

John finds himself gaping at Todd's bent figure, and he hurries to snap his mouth shut before Todd straightens again and turns around to smile at him with an inviting gesture of his hand.

“Now you can sit down, Sheppard,” he says, looking like a small school boy who wants to be praised for having done his homework.

“Uhm, thank you, I guess?” John murmurs, and he slumps down onto the seat with a dull sound and with only little grace. Todd waits until John is sitting before he seats himself in the chair of the co-pilot, his hands clasped in his lap and gazing at his human teacher for further instructions.

“If you want to come closer to a beautiful lady you are working together with, then you should invite her for a walk in the park during your lunch break or so,” John forces himself to say. “This way you can spend time with her and talk to her more privately without being too obvious for the beginning.”

“I see,” Todd replies, inclining his head again. “But there is no park in Atlantis, Sheppard.”

John wants to roll his eyes, but he suppresses his childish urge heroically. “The piers or some of the balconies will do just fine, Todd. I'm taking you to the mainland, there we will be undisturbed from prying eyes so you can practice small talk with me before you'll meet Dr. Keller the next time.”

“I'll do my very best to be an attentive student, Sheppard,” Todd promises, and John lets out a sigh and starts the Jumper.

The flight to the mainland is short and quiet, and Sheppard focuses on finding the best place for a walk because it's already getting rather dark outside. He lands the Jumper on a small clearing, and Todd follows him out of the small vessel as quietly as he's been during their flight. There is a strange expression darkening his alien features, and John wonders what the Wraith is mulling about.

A small path leads away from the clearing, and if John remembers it correctly, then it will lead them to a meadow with a small pond, the perfect place for coming closer to someone you're romantically interested in. Not that John has any romantic interest in Todd, but the right setting and scenery is important for his lessons, and he also doesn't want them to be watched by any other of his people while he's teaching Todd the tricks and finesses of this kind of conversation.

“Ask me if I want to take a walk with you,” he orders Todd to do something, and the Wraith gazes at him with a puzzled expression.

“That's what we've come here for in the first place, Sheppard, isn't it?” he wants to know, and this time, John does roll his eyes.

“Yeah, but that's not the point. Imagine that Dr. Keller needs a break in between work, the perfect opportunity for you to ask her for a romantic walk on the piers to get some fresh air.”

“I cannot find anything romantic about the piers, Sheppard. Wraith do not appreciate walking in the bright sunlight without any shadow protecting our sensitive eyesight, and apart from that, everyone can watch us there and hear what we'd be talking about. Not to mention that the two Marines you ordered to watch me would surely follow us and nip any romantic mood in the bud right away – but I think that I'm getting your point,” Todd remarks reasonably, “so may I ask you if you'd like to take a walk in the beautiful sunshine with me, Sheppard?”

John feels himself blushing again, and his voice sounds a little bit squeaky when he answers:

“Of course, Todd, I'd be delighted to take a walk with you.”

Todd looks at him for a moment, and then he turns around and starts to stride towards the path with long steps and his hands clasped behind his back. John stares at his back in confusion before he hurries to follow him and almost has to run until he's reached Todd's side again.

“Don't walk so fast, Todd. Keller is much smaller than you, you don't want her having to run after you, do you?” he chides his student, and the Wraith slows down and looks almost sheepishly at him.

“I'm sorry, Sheppard. It's just that you're a tough soldier, not a delicate lady...” he apologizes, and John knows that there is absolutely no reason for him to feel hurt about Todd's words and wish for the tiniest split of a second that he were a delicate lady and not a 'tough solider'. Not that he has ever wished to be anybody else than just John Sheppard, but being treated like a cherished and very special person - and not just like the brave and strong superior or buddy he's usually treated as would actually be nice now and then.

“Hmm, just try to pretend that I am,” he murmurs out of breath, and Todd ducks his head between his shoulders.

“I'll try, Sheppard. So what kind of small talk human ladies do appreciate?”

“That's different. You could talk about the weather or the nice flowers on the bushes,” John says as he looks around and his eyes fall upon one of the large bushes with yellow flowers that are lining the path. They're looking a little bit like roses, and John lets himself be distracted by their beauty and their sweet fragrance for a moment and doesn't pay attention to where his student is going. Therefore, he almost makes a painful and embarrassing acquaintance with the earthy ground of the path and the thorns of the bush when Todd comes to an abrupt halt and John bumps into him by accident.

“There are no flowers on the piers, Sheppard,” Todd reminds him, “plus – I do believe that Jennifer would start to question my sanity if I actually tried to talk to her about the weather. She has never given me any reason to think that she would be interested in such trivia.”

John flails about to find his balance again, and he gasps in surprise when a pair of strong arms are wrapping themselves around his midsection to stabilize him and keep him on his feet. Todd is suddenly standing very close to him, and John can smell his natural musky scent, strange but somehow pretty appealing to him. He freezes in place, staring up into the glittering green-golden eyes of his Wraith student, and Todd looks down at him, pulling John a little bit closer to his leather-clad chest.

“Tell me, Sheppard, would you want me to engage you in a conversation about the weather?” he rumbles in a low voice that almost sounds like a purr, and Sheppard blinks and shakes his head to clear his dazed mind.

“No, but I'm not a delicate lady as you've just been so kind to remind me.”

He tries to untangle himself from Todd's arms, but his green-skinned buddy has apparently no intention to let go of him so quickly.

“All humans are delicate to us, Sheppard,” the Wraith says, and John gets the impression that there's more behind this simple statement than just the obvious fact that Wraith are indeed much stronger and faster than any human, at least when they're freshly fed.

“So what would you want to me to ask you about if we were taking 'a walk in the park', Sheppard?” Todd continues when John remains silent and just keeps staring at him as he tries to decipher the weird feelings their embrace is arousing in him.

“Uhm, I dunno, I like football and Johnny Cash... I like everything that is fast or can fly, movies perhaps...” John's voice trails off when Todd slowly releases him and takes a step back onto the path at last, and the temperature must have dropped all of a sudden because he's shivering in his jacket, feeling cold without Todd's arms around him.

“Who is Johnny Cash?” Todd wants to know, and John licks over his dry lips. The glittering eyes drop down to his mouth, and their color changes to a rich orange-gold for a moment.

“A musician and singer. I've always loved his music – opposite to my father – and I have a guitar and sometimes try to play and sing his songs,” John explains with another blush, and Todd frowns.

“I didn't know that,” the Wraith murmurs, probably more to himself, and he offers his arm to John and jerks his head in the direction of the now dark path. “Shall we resume our walk, Sheppard? I'd like you tell me more about your favorite music and this football thing.”

John takes his arm and nods his head, and for the next hour they keep walking through the early night while John tells Todd everything about his favorite music, his beloved football and fast cars. Todd is a very good listener, his eyes are never leaving John's face as he's listening to him with a fascinated expression on his striking alien features, and they're glowing in the darkness like two small orange-golden stars in the night sky, their intense look warming John from the inside.

John is still talking when they reach the Jumper again and on their flight back, only interrupted by Todd's thoughtful and interested questions now and then, and he feels a short sting of regret when they're back in Atlantis far too soon for his liking and have to part for the night.

“The next lesson will be about spending an evening together, taking your lady out for dinner,” he says, and the Wraith gazes at him.

“That might be a little bit more difficult to handle, Sheppard. Our eating habits do not really match with yours,” Todd reminds him, and John sighs.

“You really know how to ruin the mood, Todd, don't you? I've always thought that Wraith can eat solid food under certain circumstances. It's just not nourishing you the way you need it.”

“That's correct, Sheppard. Please arrange something for dinner, then,” Todd agrees, and John purses his lips in contemplation. It's clear that the dinner lesson he's planning for Todd can't take place in the mess hall, but his own quarters aren't a real option either, so he has to come up with something else, then.

“Meet me in the Jumper bay again,” he finally says, “at nineteen hundred.”

Todd inclines his head. “I'll be there, Sheppard.” He hesitates, glancing down at his human teacher for a few seconds, before he slowly adds:

“Thank you for our... interesting evening, John. I really enjoyed our walk in the park.”

John has enjoyed their evening pretty much himself, but he's not ready to admit that and resorts to gifting his Wraith buddy with one of his crooked grins instead.

“You weren't that bad at your first lesson, Todd. Just remember what I taught you the next time you'll see her,” he says, even though the thought of Todd and Keller taking a walk on the piers is somewhat disturbing to him.

“Good night, Todd,” he hurries to say before he'll do something stupid, and Todd returns his smile and wishes him goodnight, too.

“Sleep well, Sheppard,” he rumbles before he turns around to head for the transporter that will bring him to his lab. John watches him leave, a tall dark figure against the artificial light of the corridor, and he waits until Todd is out of sight before he makes his way back to his own quarters.

This night he's sleeping peacefully like a baby, Todd's glowing green-golden eyes following him into his dreams.


	3. Lesson 2: Dinner for Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Todd's first lesson has gone rather well, and John is in a good mood when he wakes up the next morning. Things are going down rather quickly, though, as his day turns out to be pretty awful while he's trying to get ready for lesson number 2: teaching Todd how to have dinner with the lady of his heart...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoy writing this story so much, if you enjoy reading it just as much, please let me know! :-)

John feels well rested when he gets up the next morning, and he is surprised – and relieved – when there is no sight of Dr. Keller and Todd sitting together in the mess hall this morning, so he might be able to grab some breakfast without any interference.

Rodney is sitting on a table with a tray and a tablet beside it, shifting rhythmically between stuffing food into his mouth without really looking at what he's eating and staring at the tablet with a frown on his forehead. John takes his own tray and walks over to McKay's table, feeling surprisingly uncertain as he's just about to spend time with his best friend here in Atlantis.

“Good morning,” he says in a cheerful voice, sitting down opposite his best friend.

“Hrmpf,” is the noncommittal reply, and Rodney takes another forkful of his scrambled eggs without really looking at him. John watches him chew and swallow, holding his own cup of coffee in his hand without drinking from the rather transparent ash-brown brew. This is definitely coffee from the machine, not hand-made, probably bitter and lukewarm because it was the rest that was left in the glass pot when John came into the mess hall.

“Long time no see,” he makes another attempt to get Rodney to talk to him, and this time the blue-eyed genius does raise his gaze to John's face for a second to stare at him as if he'd never seen him before.

“Not my fault, Sheppard,” he drawls slowly, “you know where I'm working – or where my quarters are.”

McKay has a point here, and John shifts uncomfortably on his hard plastic chair. “I wasn't sure that you would appreciate any company after your, after you and Keller... I mean after you and her had...you know...”

Damn it, this is harder than he thought it to be. John shifts again, taking a hasty sip from the bitter coffee and having a hard time not to pull his face into a grimace of utter disgust.

“No, I don't.” McKay deadpans, giving John another irritated look. “After I and her - what?”

“Uhm, after you two broke up,” John stumbles his way through his rather weak excuse why he's neglected his best friend over the past couple of days and weeks.

“That's usually the time when best friends come looking for you, you know, Sheppard?”

Rodney looks at him expectantly, and his counter question makes John blush and unconsciously duck his head between his shoulders.

“I'm sorry, I thought that you'd rather wanted to be left alone... to lick your wounds...”

Atlantis' head scientist decides that this poor excuse isn't even worthy an actual reply to it and simply stuffs another fork with eggs into his mouth with his right hand, while scrolling through the data on his tablet with the other one - after a third look at John, this time one that is speaking of hurt and reproach. Okay, so McKay wasn't the one providing him with fresh coffee and his favorite energy bars yesterday, this possibility can definitely be ruled out, judging by the anger he's nursing at the moment because of John's thoughtless demeanor lately.

“I'm sorry, Rodney, I really am,” John apologizes, “you know that I'm not really good at these things.”

Rodney sighs and leans back in his chair to fold his arms before his chest defensively. He still looks hurt that his best friend abandoned him when he needed him the most, and John knows that he has to come up with something that will make the genius be good with him again.

“Just being there and listening to me would have been enough, John,” Rodney says, and his voice is the tiniest bit softer now. “Doing the things with me we've always done. Car races in the corridors, beer on the pier after a long working day. Just keeping me company in the lab without talking like you've done it so many times. I would have done that for you.”

John lowers his head down, and his appetite is gone. He feels bad that he has been so occupied with himself and his weird obsession to teach Todd the finesses of human courting rituals that he forgot his best friend over that, and he can only hope that Rodney will forgive him again.

“Look, I'm really sorry, McKay,” he murmurs subduedly, “I'll be a better friend in the future.”

Rodney regards him for a moment, and his expression softens even more. “You are the best friend I've ever had, Sheppard. Just remember that more often – and pay more attention to your friends – to all of them.”

John frowns at the rather ominous response, but before he can ask McKay what he's talking about, his friend stands up and takes his tray and his tablet.

“I'm already late for work, see you later, Sheppard.” He turns around and is heading towards the exit with fast steps, and John watches him retreat while a headache starts to build behind his temples. What is it that he's feeling so strange and sick lately? First his stomach was giving him so much trouble, now it's his head which is pounding as though he's had too much beer last night.

Maybe paying Carson a visit in the infirmary might be a good idea, just to be sure that he's not caught anything serious. John rubs his temples with a grown and rises to his feet to bring his untouched breakfast back to the counter. There's two of the delicious energy bars left in his office. He'll have one of them later, when he's feeling better again.

John leaves the mess hall hoping that the morning that has started so well won't get worse than it already is now.

*~*~*

Fate seems to be as angry with him as Rodney probably still is, and his good mood is decreasing rapidly over the next hours.

When he enters his office, he finds Major Lorne sitting on his chair and chewing happily on one of the two energy bars he'd hidden in the drawer of his desk so carefully. His XO blushes when he notices the disbelieving look his superior officer is giving him, but he doesn't stop chewing, and he pulls what's left of the bar closer to himself like a dog that is determined to defend the bone he's stolen from another - much bigger - dog when the bigger one was sleeping.

“That is my office, my desk, my energy bar,” John almost growls, and Lorne pales, but he lifts his chin up in defiance and holds John's gaze without blinking.

“I'm sorry, sir. I didn't get breakfast today because of the training with the newbies you'd scheduled for me, and you asked me to write the reports for you until twelve hundred because Mr. Woolsey had already asked you three times to finally put them onto his desk. I thought you wouldn't mind me eating one of them if I helped you with the reports. They're my favorite flavor,” he adds with a smile that shows his dimples at their best, and John thinks for the umpteenth time that it's just not fair how Lorne and McKay are able to make such puppy eyes if they want something – and this even though the color of their eyes are of an astonishing blue color and not brown like they should be for such puppy eyes.

Considering that Woolsey gave him an ultimatum regarding the reports – three very long reports – and that his XO is much better at writing them and never complaining, it's only fair not to begrudge him one of the bars.

He sighs and rubs his temples again as he circles his desk to take the last one out of the drawer before Lorne or anyone else can steal it away from him.

“Of course I don't mind,” he forces himself to say, “and thank you for the reports, Evan. I'll come getting them before I'm supposed to see Richard.”

Lorne nods and goes back to writing, and John takes a heartfelt bite from his last chocolate-hazelnut bar and leaves his office to pay a visit at the infirmary and let Carson check him through.

*~*~*

John wants to facepalm himself when he enters the infirmary and the sight of Keller is greeting him instead of the expected Scottish doctor. How could he forget that Carson is still on the planet and busied with helping the settlers there? His stomach clenches painfully, and his head is throbbing as if an entire horde of tiny dwarfs were hammering for gold and jewels in his skull. He stands there frozen in place for a moment, but before he can turn around and leave the infirmary again, Keller looks up from her laptop and notices him.

Her hair is tied back into a long ponytail, and she looks as if nothing could ever trouble her when she smiles at him.

“Colonel Sheppard!” she calls over to him, “what brings you to the infirmary? I can't even remember the last time you've been here – which is a good thing of course. No off-world missions that have gone wrong lately?”

“Hrrrmmmpf,” John mutters, and the delicious and actually rather small energy bar is lying like a heavy brick in his stomach all of a sudden.

Dr. Keller rises to her feet and comes over to him. Her smile fades when she regards him more closely, and she takes his arm before he can protest and pulls him towards one of the examination beds.

“You look a little pale, Colonel, let's have a look at you.”

John is pushed down onto the bed, and he stares at the ceiling to avoid her eyes. “I've been feeling a bit off lately,” he mumbles, “queasy and I had troubles sleeping,” he murmurs, “and today I'm having a bad headache. Nothing serious, probably just a mild stomach bug or flu...”

“Hmm.” Keller states, fiddling with her equipment. “I haven't seen you in the mess hall for a while. When was the last time you've eaten a proper meal, Colonel?”

John frowns as he tries to remember. “Uhm, yesterday I've had a quick dinner before I, before I... my appointment... I'd promised a... colleague to give him some flying hours...” he meanders his way through a believable explanation without revealing his and Todd's secret to her, and his cheeks feel hot all of a sudden. Hopefully he's not developing a fever to add to his headache and queasiness. He can feel Keller looking at him, but he doesn't dare to meet her eyes.

He's not really been lying, he tells himself. Todd is a Commander, so he could go for a 'colleague', right? And flirting with a beautiful lady you want to conquer can indeed feel like flying, and they did take a Jumper to the mainland, so he's more or less told her the truth about the lessons as well...

Dr. Keller remains silent for a rather long time. “I see. A quick dinner yesterday, then. And before that?” she finally inquires, her voice all professional and displaying the concern any doctor feels when their patients are telling them the syndromes of their sickness.

“An energy bar in the morning. Today I had another one so far. I didn't really feel hungry this morning...”

That's half a lie. He was hungry, but he's lost his appetite over his talk with Rodney.

“Hmm,” Keller repeats. She checks his vital functions and his temperature, listens to his heartbeat – which is increasing considerably as she does so, because John can't stop thinking about how Todd stroked her hair so rapturously yesterday when she's bending over his bed and her long ponytail tickles him when it grazes his neck. John lies there and stares at the white ceiling, wishing that he wouldn't have come here so badly that he almost forgets his headache over his wish to escape Keller's far too observant glances.

“Hmm,” she utters for a third time when she's finished her examination. “No fever, and everything looks fine to me. You appear to be a little bit dehydrated – which could be the reason for your headache, Colonel. I would advise you to establish a more regular eating schedule with three proper meals each day. Energy bars are good on a mission, but not when you're here in Atlantis. I'll give you some herbals for your sleeping problems. Brew yourself a tea from them an hour before you'll go to bed. If they're not working, then we'll try something else,” she says, and John sits up and takes the small package with the herbals.

Their faces are rather close to each other for a moment, and John has to admit that Dr. Keller is a beautiful woman. It's no wonder that Todd is interested in her – now that she's single again. His stomach starts to rumble again at this thought, and Dr. Keller creases her smooth forehead into a small frown.

“I also want you to have lunch and dinner today, proper food, no energy bars, Colonel,” she orders him in a strict voice, and he nods his head obediently. Male Wraith have the devotion to their queens written in their genetic code, and they're used to having powerful and absolutist female rulers for millennia. Keller is a rather small woman, but she can be pretty intimidating when she's looking at someone like she's looking at John now. Is that the reason why Todd has developed feelings for her? Because she's sometimes behaving like a Wraith queen?

John grabs the package with the herbals tighter, promises her to drink more and have proper breakfasts, lunchs and dinners over the next days, and flees out of the infirmary.

*~*~*

“The reports, Richard.” John says nonchalantly. It took him an hour to recover from his visit at the infirmary, and Lorne was just finished with the reports when he came back to his office. Now he's waiting for the civilian leader of the city to read them, but Woolsey barely glances at the reports.

“I'll read them later, Colonel,” he says, and that he's not calling him John makes him shift his weight. “I'm sure that Major Lorne did a good and thorough job with them as always.”

John blushes when Woolsey glances at him from over his glasses and with a meaningfully raised eyebrow.

John decides to take the bull by the horns and be honest. “He was there, too, and he's much better at these things than I am. Besides, I had my hands full with our new Wraith buddies,” he says, and Woolsey nods slowly and purses his lips.

“Yes, so I heard. Especially with one of them. What did you want to show Todd on the mainland last night, Colonel?”

John gapes at Richard and swallows. “He seemed to be in the need of some information about how to interact with humans – especially women, as they are not like the queens he's used to...” he tries to explain, and this time both of Woolsey's brows travel upwards to meet each other in the middle of his forehead.

“I see,” the older man says, “this surprises me as I must admit. I saw him – _interacting –_ with Dr. Keller the other day, and Todd didn't seem to have any problems in this regard. Dr. Keller actually looked rather pleased if I dare say that.”

John's headache starts to throb again. “Really?” he mumbles, “I'm glad to hear that.”

This is definitely a real lie, and the words leave a bad taste on his tongue as they're coming out of his his mouth.

Woolsey gazes at him. “Is everything alright, John? You look a little pale all of sudden. Maybe you should go visit Dr. Keller. She's a capable doctor, I'm sure she can help you if something's wrong with you.”

“I'm fine, thank you. Just a little headache, nothing serious.” John hurries to say, and he turns to leave when Woolsey's voice is making him stop again.

“Next time try to write your reports yourself, will you, John? You're a role model for your men, and you should lead them by example.”

“I will, Richard, next time.” John promises with one of his crooked smiles, and hurries to leave the office.

*~*~*

The next hours John is mulling over the question where to take Todd for the dinner he wants to have with him. The mess hall is out of the question, it's not intimate enough, and the chances that McKay, Woolsey or – even worse – Dr. Keller will run into them are far too high to merely think of this solution.

John's own quarters are not really the ideal place for this dinner either. Todd might get the wrong impression and think that John is interested in him, which he is of course not. So no, having dinner with Todd in his own quarters is out of the question, too.

Finally, he opts for another flight to the mainland to have a picnic there with Todd. Picnics can be very romantic, and no one will see them when they're on the mainland. John uses all of his charms to get the cook preparing a basket with all the delicious things you need for a romantic picnic, fresh bread rolls, salad, eggs and cold meat, wine and fruits. John is so lucky to even get two slices of strawberry pie with fresh strawberries from Earth the Daedalus has brought from their home planet the last time she made the flight to Atlantis, well as fresh as deep-frozen strawberries can be after a flight of two million light years, that is. John is pretty much proud of himself when he dresses with a pair of black jeans, a fresh shirt and the leather jacket again – the one Todd said that it suits him well yesterday.

He takes the basket with the food and the blanket they'll need for their picnic, and he tries to ignore the tingling in his stomach when he makes his way to the Jumper bay once more, and which feels suspiciously like anticipation and not like a stomach bug this time.

There is really no reason for him to consider his next lesson with Todd a real date. Todd isn't interested in him, and he's just his Wraith buddy and not someone John wants to woo himself, not the least. He's more like McKay, someone he argues with more often than he does not, but also someone he would trust to have his back at any time. There are really no romantic feelings involved, and he's only doing that to help his buddy conquer Keller's heart and not for any other reason.

Todd is already waiting for him again when John enters the bay, dressed in his usual black coat and his hair brushed, and he inclines his head and takes the basket from John as though he feared that it's too heavy for John to carry it.

“Good evening, John. You're a pleasing look for the eyes tonight,” the Wraith rumbles in his weird multi-toned voice. “How have you been? I hope that your day was as pleasant as mine.”

“Uhm, good evening, Todd. Thank you,” John stammers, feeling a bit irritated. He should be content that Todd proves to be such a quick learner, but the side-note that his day has been such a good one – while John's day was not – is not what he wanted to hear at all.

The Jumper stubbornly refuses to obey his mental command this time, and a big greenish hand with long clawed fingers quietly reaches around him to press itself against the panel beside the rear hatch while he's still busied with ordering the vessel to open for them.

“After you, Sheppard,” the tall Commander says politely, and John huffs an annoyed sigh and climbs into the Jumper, thinking that sometimes, life just isn't fair to him.

*~*~*

The flight to the mainland is uneventful, and John's headache has come back when they're landing on the same clearing where they have been last night.

“You seem to like this place, Sheppard,” Todd observes when they leave the Jumper, and John shrugs his shoulders. “It's a nice place, and we'll be undisturbed here.”

“Do you think that Jennifer would like it, too?” Todd rumbles somewhere behind his back as they're marching along the small path to the clearing John remembers to be nearby He's carrying the basket again and curiously looking around. “At least it's a place with flowers.”

John's stomach is making a painful flip. “I'm sure that she'll do,” he murmurs, and the beautiful and peaceful clearing they have just entered doesn't look as beautiful and inviting to him anymore as it did just a few seconds ago.

He busies himself with unfolding the blanket to avoid the thoughtful glance out of glittering yellow-golden cat's eyes Todd is darting him, but of course the stupid thing refuses to do what it's supposed to do and gets all tangled up until Todd takes it from his hands with another rumble and puts it down onto the grass with graceful motions.

“Please, have a seat, John,” he invites him to sit down and turns to the basket to peek inside and see what his teacher has prepared for their dinner for two. The food smells delicious, and John's stomach growls demandingly. It hasn't been filled with proper food for quite a while, and his mouth starts to water as he watches his Wraith student arranging the plates, the glasses and the food on the blanket in between them.

Todd must be a natural talent when it comes to this – considering that his 'eating habits usually don't match with those of humans', as he's put it so politely the previous day – because everything looks really nice to John, and he can't wait to test the strawberry pie and see for himself if it's as delicious as it looks like.

“Are these Jennifer's favorites, Sheppard?”

John blinks, staring dumbfounded at Todd.

“Pardon me?” he mumbles, and Todd glances worriedly at him.

“Are you not well, John? You look a little pale all of a sudden. I was just asking if these things are Jennifer's favorites?”

John stares at the food in front of him. They're actually his favorites for a picnic, and he facepalms himself inwardly again that he didn't think of asking Dr. Keller what she likes when he had the opportunity to do so.

“Uhm, I dunno. Sorry, you'll have to ask her the next time you'll keep her company in the mess hall, I guess.” he says, and Todd slowly nods his head.

“I see. I assume that you packed the things you like best, then?” The Wraith glances questioningly at him, all eager and attentive student, and John gives him a crooked smile.

“I guess so. Especially the strawberry pie.” He points at the two slices of cake. “It's delicious, you really must taste the cake. It might not nourish you, but it's a real treat.”

“I see.” Todd puts the cake onto two of the plates after a moment of contemplation, and offers one of the plates to John.

“Oh, the cake is meant as a dessert, Todd. We'll start with the bread rolls, the salad and the meat. Try to arrange these things on the plate in a way that it's pleasing for the eye.” John tells him, and Todd puts the plate with the cake down again to take another one and do as he's been told. He struggles a bit with arranging the lettuce and the tomatoes on the plate without having them rolling down from the plate right away again, and he pulls his forehead into a frown of concentration.

“This is confusing. Our way of... gaining the needed nutrients is much simpler and more straight forward,” he states after the third attempt to make the arrangement of bread, salad and meat look pleasing to the eye, and John actually agrees with him, even though calling the process of draining humans off their life-force 'simple' and 'straight forward' is one hell of a way to put it.

“It's okay for the start,” he consoles the ancient Commander, taking the plate to dig into his food with great appetite. Todd watches him eat silently for a while, before he fills another plate with some fruits and starts to nibble at them, his eyes still fixated on John's face with something akin to deep fascination.

“Do you want to talk about the weather now?” he breaks the silence after another few minutes of curious observation, and John, still busied with his food, looks up at him.

“I thought that we'd fixed yesterday that Jennifer is not interested in such trivia,” he says, “but if you want to talk about the weather, we can of course do that.”

“We don't need to,” Todd gives back with a shrug of his own, “I'd just thought that you might want to go back to the Jumper before the clouds over there have reached us. I'm not used to the human custom of having picnics with the woman I want to woo, but I don't think that Jennifer would enjoy being outside when rain is pouring down on us and ruining her hairdo. Although – she appears to be a brave woman to me, so maybe she's more adventurous when it comes to such things than I've given her credit for so far – what do you think, Sheppard? You're a tough soldier – do you like picnics in the rain?”

The plate almost slips from his hands, and John looks up just in time when the first heavy drops are falling down. The next second, they're busied with stuffing the food back into the basket and grabbing the damp blanket to make a run for the Jumper. The sky is opening all of its floodgates just when the vessel comes into sight, and John's hair is clinging to his forehead when they're back inside. Lightnings are flashing before the bulkheads and the front screen when John slumps down on the floor with a groan, but Todd doesn't seem to share his despair. He puts the damp blanket onto the floor beside John and starts to unpack the basket as if it was perfectly normal to have a picnic in a Jumper while a heavy thunderstorm is raging outside.

The strawberry pie is mashed and does not look appealing any longer, but John takes the plate nonetheless when Todd offers it to him with a toothy grin before he digs his own fork into the other slice of pie to taste the cake.

“You were right about the cake, Shepparrrd,” he says, rolling the 'r' in this special way again. “It might not nourish me, but it's truly delicious – even though its appearance has suffered some damage after our little run.”

“I'm glad to hear that,” John chuckles, leaning back against the Jumper and taking a generous bite from his own squashed slice of cake. This is somehow familiar terrain, and he feels less awkward than he did when they were sitting on the meadow and actually starts to enjoy his picnic with Todd.

“Things will never get boring with you either, John,” Todd adds when the strawberry pie has found its way into the Wraith's belly, and they're both sitting there and happy to just watch the storm and enjoy each other's company in companionable silence for a while.

“I'm curious about the next lesson you want to teach me. I'm sure that I'll find it very helpful for... future times.” the Commander says after a while, and John can't help but think that Dr. Keller is truly a lucky woman to have won Todd's heart.

“Tomorrow, I'll show you how you invite a woman to a movie and watch it together with her. Watching a movie together provides you with some opportunities to come closer to her,” he promises, and the Wraith moves a little bit closer to where John's leaning against the Jumper wall.

“I'm looking forward to it, Sheppard,” he rumbles, and John is looking forward to it, too, but for totally other reasons than Todd has, and he only nods his head quietly, because he really wants to keep his rather selfish motives to himself.

Todd doesn't really seem to expect an answer to his remark anyway, and for the next hour, they're both happy to just sit there in the rear of the Jumper and watch the storm slowly fade again, their bodies leaning towards each other ever so slightly until John's lids start to get heavy and drop, and he's closing his eyes and decides to take a nap leaned against Todd's leather-clad shoulder until the storm has rolled on, falling asleep with a contented sigh and a small wistful smile tugging at his lips.


	4. Lesson 3: Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Todd watch movies together, a lesson which turns out to be much more tricky and difficult than John could ever have expected it to be...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evil me had evil fun writing this chapter, I hope you'll have fun reading it! Please let me know if you did!  
> I'm back at work from tomorrow on, so any updates will slow down again, but I'll do my best. :-)

The day following their 'romantic' picnic in the Jumper is going smoothly and without any disturbing incidents.

John remembers Keller's order to have three proper meals each day and goes to the mess hall after his morning run, finding Rodney and Richard Woolsey sitting there and discussing the malfunctions of some of the recently installed naquadah generators. Rodney has some ideas how to align them better with Atlantis' systems, and John is happy to join in and forget about his role as Todd's teacher in love matters for a while.

Todd and the subject of his current personal interest are nowhere in sight, and John guesses that they're already working on the cure for the feeding problem again. He's grateful about their absence not only for himself, but also for Rodney's sake, who's even going so far to give him a real smile when they part again, the three of them all heading in different directions to tend to their business on another ordinary day in the Pegasus Galaxy.

When he makes his way to his office later, he's both surprised and delighted to find two more of his favorite bars and a pot with freshly brewed coffee waiting there for him. His benefactor obviously wants to remain a secret though, as there is absolutely no sign of their identity to be found, and none of the expedition members working on the same floor, and whom he tries to interview as inconspicuously as possible as the day goes by, have seen anything unusual or anyone coming from his office early in the morning.

This time, he stuffs the energy bars into the pocket of his uniform jacket, just to be sure. He manages to write the next two reports himself and without any disturbance, and there are only two minor incidents in one of the labs – labs that are far away enough from where Todd and Keller are working so he can avoid running into them as he checks on the scientists.

After lunch in the mess hall, this time with Lorne and two Marines - and the major offering to take over the next training for him to make up for the stolen energy bar – he pays another visit to the mainland with the Jumper to bring some needed supplies to Teyla's people.

Teyla has been spending some time with her Athosians over the past days, and he's happy to see her, her always calm presence just what he needs right now.

“John, it's good to see you,” she greets him with a pleasant smile that makes her dark eyes sparkle with warmth. “how have you been?” She takes his arm to invite him to a short walk, and he follows her along the path that leads away from the settlement and deeper into the forests.

“Actually not so good lately,” he admits, “must have caught some kind of bug or flu – but it's gone, you don't need to worry that you'll catch it,” he says to reassure her that he won't infect her and her people with anything. John would really like to tell her about the lessons he's been giving Todd lately, but even though Teyla is not as hostile towards Todd as Ronon displays his contempt and loathe towards any Wraith so openly on each and every occasion, she's still rather opposed to their new alliance with Todd's Hives and reserved in her behavior towards the tall Commander.

The colonel with the messy dark hair has the strong suspicion that she would probably question his sanity if he told her that he's teaching Todd how to conquer the heart of a human woman, even more when he tells her that said human woman is the recent ex of both of their highly valued friend Rodney...

John has done his best to ignore his bad conscience about what he's trying to achieve behind the back of his best friend, and if he's honest to himself, then this is one of the reasons why he's been avoiding the company of a certain blue-eyed genius lately. The attentive gaze of the Athosian leader is enough to make him school his features back into a neutral expression, and John promises silently to himself that he'll find a way to make up with Rodney when the whole thing is over and Todd and Keller are happy together.

“I'm sorry to hear that, John,” Teyla now says, and she smiles at him and squeezes his arm. “Have you seen Jennifer for a check up?”

John feels heat creep into his cheeks, and he pretends to be interested in the flora surrounding them. “She didn't find anything serious, and she recommended that I try getting three regular meals in the mess hall. But you know how it goes, there's always something keeping you from doing so. I end up snacking an energy bar in between my job most of the times, even without any unexpected emergencies or off-world missions coming along.”

Teyla glances at him from the side. “You're responsible for Atlantis' safety, John,” she offers her understanding for his problems to set up a regular eating and sleeping schedule for himself. “Plus, you're responsible now that this new alliance will not fail, and that the Wraith won't cause any troubles.”

“Uhm, yes.” John finds his eyes glued to a bush with thick and rather strangely looking blossoms. Their smell is strong, not unpleasant, but not what he'd have expected either. It's kinda acrid, reminding him of fresh human sweat or something like that. Teyla follows his gaze and then, darts him another thoughtful look.

“Dr. Parrish has been interested in these plants as well. They are carnivorous plants, and my people have built their settlements close to them for a long time because they keep the Iratus bugs away.”

“Really?” John frowns and tries to remember whether or not he's ever noticed this sort of plants beforehand. “Iratus bugs, but not Wraith, I guess.”

“That is correct, John,” Teyla agrees evenly, still watching him. “Has the research for a cure made any progress?”

“Not really, but I'm probably not the right person you should ask about these things. I'm not a scientist.” John says with a shrug of his shoulders.

“I've just thought about it because I was told that you and Todd have been spending a lot of time together over the last days,” Teyla gives back, and John feels his face heat up again.

“Oh that,” he waves her implied question away as nonchalantly as he's able to do. “Todd is still not familiar with most of our human customs, and I offered to help him out with that to prevent any problems and misunderstandings before they even arise.”

“I see. That is sensible.” Teyla inclines her head in acknowledgment. “As you have come to know him better than any of us do, you are surely the most qualified one for this task, John.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” John murmurs, and he's glad when Teyla suggests shortly after that they return to the village, and he can excuse himself with some business he has to see to in Atlantis. Teyla is standing near the edge of the clearing when his Jumper takes off, waving at him, and John waves back at her, hoping that she will forgive him if she'll ever learns the truth about the real nature of the lessons he's been teaching Todd.

*~*~*

The rest of the day goes by quickly, and John even manages to get the room they're using as a small cinema blocked for any other visitor for his special movie night with Todd. Richard listens with an unreadable face to his request and his remark that he doesn't want to risk that anyone else visiting the cinema tonight will freak out when they're finding themselves sitting in the same row with a Wraith; and he seems to buy John's explanation that he wants to teach Todd more about his human allies and their customs and culture by showing him some traditional movies about Earth and find it reasonable enough to allow it without asking too many questions.

Woolsey does not only give his consent to John's idea, but he actually goes so far to express his hopes that John's efforts will lead to a fruitful and productive collaboration in the future, and John has a hard time keeping himself from blushing again.

John spends another hour giving some serious thought to a selection of movies for their special night and making puppy eyes at the kitchen staff for popcorn. The cook is raising her eyebrow at him – (she can be as intimidating as any Wraith queen when someone is asking her for more rations of special food and treats than what's actually appertaining to them for the week) – but his crooked smile is finally softening her heart of stone and earning him the requested titbits and beverage.

Everything is set up when he steps into the transporter that will bring him to the quarters Todd has been assigned to, and he's pleased to see that the tall Wraith is already waiting for him. Luckily, John knows how to get where he wants to be in the city without being caught, one of the benefits that comes from the times when the Genii or Wraith tried to take control over Atlantis, and he achieves to sneak Todd into the cinema room without meeting anyone and having to give them any explanations that would just lead to more awkwardness that he's already been facing on a regular basis far too often lately.

Todd stops near the closed door to look curiously around, at the thick red velvet curtain before the screen on the wall, the rows of seats – not the comfortable plushy cushioned chairs real movie theaters usually have, but rather hard plastic seats – and the tray with popcorn and coke John has brought here before he went to pick his special guest up.

“We're the only ones here,” the Commander observes, and John nods his head with a shrug of his shoulders.

“We wouldn't be on a regular movie night, but I thought that you'd prefer to be undisturbed for your third lesson.”

“A reasonable decision, Sheppard,” Todd agrees, tilting his head as he regards the rows of seats. “Where would I best sit with Jennifer – if I chose to bring her here for a 'movie night', Sheppard?” he wants to know, craning his head to peer down at his human teacher.

“The last row is always the best, but in a real movie theater the seats are usually arranged in ascending rows like in an amphitheater, so you can watch the movie without too many heads being in your way. As Jennifer is rather small, you'll probably have to sit in one of the front rows – if you come here for actually watching the movie and not for... hmm... other actions.”

Todd draws his hairless eye ridges together in confusion. “What kind of 'actions' do you mean, Sheppard?”

John is very glad that the lights are already dimmed, because his face is burning. “More... intimate... actions, like wrapping your arm around the backrest of her seat, or whispering something in her ear,” he mumbles, because the words 'kissing her' just won't slip from his tongue, no matter how hard he tries.

Todd's frown deepens. “The chairs look uncomfortable to sit on them for more than a few minutes, but they appear to be stable enough that I don't need to fear for Dr. Keller's safety,” he observes, “do you really believe that it will be necessary for me to secure her seat during the movie? She's not that heavy that her chair will suffer any damage from her weight.”

“Uhm, not because of that. You can of course leave that step out and go straight to wrapping your arm around her shoulder instead.” John manages despite his burning face.

“I see. That sounds more logical, but I fear that such an action will cause an uproar among the other spectators because they will most likely assume that I'm preparing to feed on her. Especially if I'll add to their wrong conclusions by bringing our heads close enough together to... _'whisper'_ into her ear.”

Todd has a point here, and John swallows and takes in a deep breath to calm himself down and will his face-color to pale back into its normal shade again.

“The best thing will be to invite her to your quarters for an undisturbed movie night – or visit hers for that.”

The Wraith ponders that for a moment before he gives John a long thoughtful look. “As Dr. Keller and I are often working alone in my lab, she might actually be comfortable enough to invite me into her quarters – or come to mine. I assume that you and I haven't reached the level of comfort and trust that is required for such an invitation so far - because you brought me here instead, Sheppard?”

John is too stunned to do more than just gape stupidly at the alien male for a moment, and he actually feels a sharp stab of regret and bad conscience that he's made Todd believe that he still has to prove himself to John in any way. He might not have any interest in coming closer to Todd in _that_ special way, but Todd is his buddy, and John has come to trust him with his life over the years.

“No, it's not that I don't trust you enough I was alone with you beforehand many tines already,” he hurries to assure him when he's found his tongue again, “I just wanted to bring you here because of the special atmosphere cinemas have. The large screen, the popcorn and coke, the dimmed light...”

 _'The furtive touches and kisses'_... he wants to say, but John's mouth refuses to cooperate again when he attempts to be more specific.

The tall Commander observes him silently, but finally he nods his head. “I see,” he says, “so shall we take our seats in the last row then, John?” he inquires politely, and John feels a wave of relief surging through him. He takes the tray with the popcorn and the coke and follows Todd to the last row. He'll have to get up again to change the DVD with the movie later, but the curtain can be moved with a remote control, and the same goes for the DVD player.

They sit down, and John must admit that Todd has a point with the chairs, something he's never noticed before tonight.

“If you come here with Dr. Keller, remember to bring a cushion for the seat,” he tells Todd, freezing in his chair when the tall Wraith starts to unbutton his coat all of a sudden.

“What are you doing?” he demands to know, and Todd gazes at him from under his long white lashes.

“Providing you with a cushion, Sheppard,” he states the obvious, folding his coat several times until it's small enough to be put onto the hard seating surface of the plastic chair. He's wearing a black shirt under his coat, tightly fitting like a second skin. The shimmering material clings to Todd's lean and perfectly sculptured torso, and it leaves nothing to the imagination.

John realizes that he has never seen Todd without his coat on, and he tries hard not to stare. The heavy garment - which is actually more an armor than just a coat - has been covering quite well so far the fact that the ancient Commander is broader in build than his height and slender shape have always let on, and the silken black shirt provides the hazel-eyed colonel with a perfect view on his upper body – which happens to be a pretty fascinating landscape of defined hills and valleys formed by strong and well-toned muscles. The display of powerful virility makes John's fingers itch with the sudden and rather unwelcome urge to trail over this perfect picture of powerful masculinity and map the landscape of Todd's torso into his memory this way, and he feels his throat go dry with something he'd rather not explore any further.

Now that the coat is off, John's human nose is also able to detect the smell of something musky and rather enticing, most likely the Wraith equivalent of human after shave or eau de cologne.

“Do you think that my appearance will please Dr. Keller's eyes?” Todd's question startles John out of his rapturous admiration of the Wraith's obvious delights, and his eyes snap up to the alien and yet so striking male features his uncommon student calls his own.

John gulps for air, and the Commander tilts his head in concern. “Is something wrong with my shirt, Sheppard?” he wants to know. “Do you think that it's not appropriate for this occasion?”

Apart from Todd's shirt accentuating his Wraithy attractiveness far too much for his own peace of mind, John can't say that anything is wrong with it. He wills his eyes to stay on Todd's face and not drop down to his lower regions to check whether or not his legs are as long as they always seemed to be – and if his pants are as tightly fitting as his shirt is.

“No, everything's fine, Todd,” he croaks out, hoping that he doesn't sound too much like a teenage fan girl meeting her favorite rock star - (which would be Johnny Cash in his case) – in person for the very first time. He suspects that not even Johnny Cash – or his favorite footballer – would ever have had the same effect on him as the annoying Wraith Commander actually has on him, but this is nothing he will share with him.

“So you find my appearance pleasing at least? As another male – and in this regard rival for the attention of human females - I expect you to be honest to me and tell me if you think that I should strive for improvement in this matter.”

“You look good, don't worry,” John forces himself to say, even though 'good' is much of an understatement here. He can only hope that Dr. Keller will appreciate the stunning sight of pure maleness at least partly - and which he's far too much enjoying himself at the moment - and realize how lucky she is that the impressive Commander has developed more than just a scientific interest in her.

“So what kind of movie do you want to show me, Sheppard? I must say that I have troubles stretching my imagination far enough that I could merely begin to fathom what kind of things humans like to watch for their entertainment.” Todd luckily changes the topic to something John is far more comfortable with than he is talking about the Wraith's glorious looks, and he fiddles with the remote control to start the player and then, make the curtain move to the side with a rather theatrical gesture.

“There are two options for you when you're inviting the lady of your heart to watch a movie with you and come closer to her this way. I've chosen a movie for each of the two possibilities. The first option: choose a movie that is scary enough to make your lady snuggle against you to seek shelter in your strong arms. Option two is a movie about romantic love, spiced with some obstacles the lady and her knight in shining armor have to overcome before they can live happily ever after.”

The ancient Wraith glances at him in the gloomy light that is filling the makeshift cinema after John has dimmed it some more, apparently questioning John's current state of mind.

“Why would anybody want to watch a movie that is scaring them?” he contemplates aloud, and John shrugs his shoulders.

“It's the mixture of sitting in a comfortable chair and knowing that you're safe – while the actor or the actress are running for their life and screaming their throats sore. It gives you scary shudders of the good kind, you know?” John tries to explain, and Todd frowns.

“No, I do not, Sheppard, but I'll trust your judgment that Dr. Keller would enjoy the 'good kind of scary shudders' like so many of your species seem to do.”

“Well, let's get started, then.” John starts the movie and focuses his attention on the screen. They can have some popcorn later, at first he wants to explain some more things to his Wraith student.

The ancient Commander gives him a thoughtful look before he shifts his eyes to the screen as well, placing his arm on the backrest of John's chair as his teacher has told him to do. For a while they sit there in silence while the movie is unfolding before their eyes.

“Is it a human custom to sleep in small coffins at night?” Todd breaks the silence after some minutes, and his voice speaks of utter confusion as he watches the lid of the coffin where Lord Dracula has been sleeping until now move to the side as if it was pulled back by a pair of invisible giant hands. “We use our pods only for hibernation, but not when we need to get some rest between our shifts.”

“Uhm, not really. The person sleeping in there would surely suffocate before the night is over.” John says, and Todd's eyes are glittering in the flickering lights coming from the movie when he turns to look at the colonel.

“Then why is this rather oddly looking man sleeping in a coffin, Sheppard? It is a man, is it not? I've never seen any of your expedition members wearing such strange make up like he obviously does, and he looks more male than female to me, but I'm not sure. Why would he want to smear white chalk all over his face?”

John blushes, and he keeps his eyes on the movie, because he really doesn't trust himself to meet Todd's questioning glance. Dracula is about to spread his arms and take off from the windowsill, his black cape serving as some kind of wings, and John has to admit that he's never really thought about the snow-white make up, the black-colored eyes and his far too red lips until his Wraith student has now mentioned it.

“Lord Dracula is already dead and doesn't need to breathe any longer. And some people - women and men like wearing make up, but Lord Dracula is wearing this make up to make him look more scary.”

“I see. I cannot find anything scary about his ridiculous looks, but I'm not human, so I might lack the needed mindset here,” Todd remarks, tilting his head to the side. “But I must say that I'm impressed that you have coats on Earth that are equipped with engines and serve as a flying vessel. Why have I never seen you using such a coat, Sheppard?”

“Because they're not real, Todd. This is a trick that only works in movies.”

“I see,” Todd rumbles, although the sound of his voice indicates that he doesn't understand anything at all.

Lord Dracula has landed in the meantime, climbing into the bedchamber of the young virgin maid he's about to bite in the very next minute.

John darts Todd a quick sidelong glance and finds his student staring at the screen in disbelief.

“Why would a man who's already dead require liquid and food in form of human blood, Sheppard? This doesn't make any sense at all.” The Wraith inquires when Dracula sinks his teeth into the creamy-white throat of his victim and the young maid wakes up with a scream of utter horror before her screams fade into some kind of weak gurgling.

“That's because he's not really dead. I mean, he's dead like in he doesn't need to breathe anymore and likes sleeping in a coffin, but he's alive enough to drink the blood of young women. We call this state 'undead'.”

“And I've been told that we Wraith appear to be weird to you humans,” Todd remarks, shaking his head. “This is a rather inefficient way of gaining the needed energy and nutrients, by the way. It takes far longer than our way of feeding, Sheppard. Her scream was so loud, there must be people coming to her rescue any time soon. The wounds his teeth have left on her skin are too small to drink from them properly, and humans have more than five liters of blood, close to six liters, can you imagine how long it takes to suck such an amount of blood through two tiny openings?”

John rolls his eyes in frustration. “This is just a movie, Todd. It's not meant to be logical, just to give you the good shudders of fright. This is the point where your lady will snuggle against you and bury her face on your shoulder not to see what's going on there.”

Todd averts his eyes from Dracula and his gurgling maid to look at John.

“Jennifer is a tough woman who's been working with Wraith for long enough not to find this – how do you call this species 'Lord Dracula' belongs to?” the Wraith asks, not finishing his sentence but looking expectantly at John for clarification.

“Vampires. Lord Dracula is a vampire. He has actually pretty much in common with Wraith,” John retorts, feeling a little bit disappointed that the evening is not going as planned.

“Very well. Jennifer has been working with Wraith for long enough not to be scared by a man with a bold head who needs make up to look scary, wears a ridiculous cape without any real functionality and is stupid enough to think that he can efficiently drain an adult human by biting their throat to suck their blood through two tiny wounds fast enough before he'll get caught.”

Todd probably does have a point here again, John thinks, but before he can come up with a reply, Todd moves a little bit closer to him. “Are you scared of this Lord Dracula, Sheppard? Do you want me to wrap my arm around your shoulder now so you can hide your face in my shirt?” The damn Wraith looks like a still life of innocence, and John indeed wants to hide, preferably in a hole that is opening under his feet – now.

Unfortunately Atlantis is not cooperative and the floor under their feet remains solid.

“No, thank you!” he snaps, pressing the 'stop'-button on the remote control and getting up to change the DVD.

When he comes back, Todd gives him an apologetic smile. “I'm sorry that I fail to see the benefits watching this movie together with Dr. Keller could possibly offer to me.”

“Yeah, Lord Dracula is surely a concept you Wraith cannot understand,” John mutters, starting the next movie and grabbing the bag with the popcorn. He really needs a treat now, and he pushes the bag in Todd's direction without looking at him.

“What's that, Sheppard?”

“Popcorn. A must if you're watching a movie with your girl.” John stuffs a handful into his mouth and chews, feeling Todd's glance on his face.

“Does the noise not disturb the other watchers? You're chewing is pretty loud.”

“Really, Todd?” John snaps, taking the remote control to increase the volume. “Better now?” he takes another handful of popcorn, and after a moment, Todd does the same, his gaze returning to the screen.

“Why would your women need to sell their bodies, Sheppard?” he asks after a while, and he's sounding astonished and disgusted at the same time.

John sighs. This lesson is the hardest one so far, he should have known better than to suggest a movie night with a Wraith, really. Hopefully Keller is not that interested in movies and will be happy with romantic dinners and moonshine walks.

“Some women have to do that to earn their living,” he replies at last. “But this movie is more a modern version of the fairy tale Cinderella, and her client is her knight in shining armor.”

“Hmm, his suit doesn't really look like an armor to me, John.”

“Spoken in the literal sense, Todd.”

“I see.”

“Fine. Now be quiet and watch so you won't miss the romantic scenes.”

For some time, they're watching the movie without talking, only the sounds and noises the paper bag and the popcorn are making breaking the silence between them.

“Sheppard?”

“Yes, Todd?”

“Did you mean the sexual activities exchanged for money after they barely know each other when you were talking about romantic scenes?”

“Hmm, no.”

“I'm relieved to hear that.”

“Just keep watching, Todd.”

“Yes, Sheppard.”

When the movie is finally finished after what feels like an entire eternity to John, Todd moves his arm away from his shoulder. John blinks and asks himself since when it had been wrapped around him, and he misses the heavy weight of it and how Todd's clawed fingers were scratching over his upper arm, now that he's not having either of that any longer.

Their bodies are still close to one another though, their faces only inches apart from each other.

“I'm glad that he proved himself worthy of the love of his queen at the end, Sheppard,” the ancient Commander rumbles, and John nods his head.

“Uhm, yes, Todd,” he murmurs, and he must have had too much popcorn, because there is this strange feeling in his stomach again.

“This was an interesting experience for me,” Todd exclaims, “but also a confusing one. Human entertainment is a rather weird concept to me as I have to admit.”

“If we'll ever be on Earth together again, I'll take you to a football game,” John promises spontaneously, hoping that Jennifer won't mind it that he wants to take her future Wraith boyfriend to such an event.

Todd's eyes are glittering in the now brighter light, and he takes his coat when John is rising to his feet to dress it again, which helps John to find some of his composure back.

“I'd like that, Sheppard,” the Wraith decides, being all gentleman-like and carrying the bag and the empty bottles as they take their leave.

“Watching football is one of my favorite entertainments,” John explains to his student, “next to flying any kind of vessel and driving fast cars.”

“Can we do that too, when we're on Earth? Driving fast cars?”

“I'll make sure to arrange something,” John promises, and they smile at each other. The way to Todd's quarters is short, and John finds himself reluctant to end the evening and say goodnight to the Wraith. Under normal circumstances, it would be Todd accompanying Jennifer to her quarters, but Todd is still not allowed to walk through Atlantis without guards if John isn't around, hence they did it the other way around.

“Which lesson will come next?” Todd asks curiously when John doesn't move and just keeps standing there in the corridor, and the colonel swallows and straightens his shoulders.

“Tomorrow I'll teach you the basics of dancing,” he says, and the prospect of Todd holding him in his arms and swaying him around is definitely giving him shudders.

Whether they are of the good or bad kind, this remains to be seen.

“Dancing lessons.” Todd muses, “that will be interesting.”

“I guess so,” John agrees with a crooked grin and a shrug. “Good night, Todd.”

“Good night, Sheppard. Just remember to send Lord Dracula to me in the unlikely case that he'll show up and thinks you to be an easy victim. I'll teach him how it really works, then.”

Todd really needs to work on his sense of humor, John thinks as he makes his way back to his own quarters, but he's still grinning when he crawls into his bed half an hour later, and when he finally falls asleep, he dreams of Todd sitting on the back of a huge white stallion dressed in a metal armor and hunting Lord Dracula – whose features show an astonishing similarity with Dr. Keller's face all of a sudden...


	5. Lesson 4: Dance with me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has had dancing lessons twenty years ago, but thanks to his special dance instructor, he still remembers each single step he'd been taught so long ago, and his dancing lessons come in handy now as he teaches his Wraith student Todd the high art of dancing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first half of this chapter has been sitting on my thumb drive for weeks, and today I could finally finish it!  
> I hope you will still enjoy reading this story, there are two more chapters left until Todd has learned the high art and finesses of human courting rituals! <33

For the first time in his life John finds himself being grateful for one of all the things his father had forced upon him during his adolescence because he'd considered these things to be a necessary duty for a real Sheppard.

Back then, when Patrick Sheppard had engaged a dance instructor for the summer months which John had to spend on the family estate because his school was closed for example, and John had hated nothing more than those dancing lessons.

The dance instructor had been a stiff and rigorous oldish lady with thin lips that never seemed to smile. She'd been slim to the point where it had looked as if she was still recovering from a fatal disease, and her chin had been so pointed that John had always feared that she would poke him with it and perhaps even draw blood then. She'd been considerably taller than him as the still rather small teenage boy he'd been, and she'd used far too much make up and powder on her face, both items giving her unpleasant and stern features the look of a baroque mask.

Her far too sweet and strong perfume had made him feel sick, and one day he'd almost vomited on her polished black shoes because of her eau de cologne – shoes that had been as pointed as her nose and her chin were.

Her shapeless dresses had hung around her thin body like potato sacks – and she'd never worn any colors other than muddy-brown, black, deep-blue and a dark-gray that had matched perfectly with the gray topknot crowning her thin and spiky head. John had always feared Mistress Honeycut, how he'd been ordered to address her right with her first sentence directed at him, even feared her more than he'd actually feared his father when he'd been in a bad mood – which really meant something.

Twice a week, when Mistress Honeycut had come to teach him, John had had to report to the big salon at fourteen hundred, and woe to him when he'd shown up thirty seconds after the gong of the clock hanging over the door had announced the ending of the fourteenth hour of the day.

Sometimes, Mistress Honeycut was still haunting him in his nightmares, and she would actually have made for a perfect female Lady Dracula. John still believes that she has never ever so much as smiled in her whole life, and there are only few things in _his_ own life he's ever feared and hated as much as he has feared his dance instructor – Wraith queens and their attempts to force themselves into his mind to bring him down onto his knees and suck him dry included.

The good thing about his terrible experience with Mistress Honeycut is that John has never forgotten any of the lessons she's been teaching him all those years ago. His high intelligence combined with his fear and his wish to escape her thin arms - but nevertheless ironclad and unyielding embrace – had served to make him learn even the most complicated steps right with the first instruction, and John can for certain pride himself on having been her best and quickest student ever.

John is a pilot with all his heart, and each single one of his various flight instructors has praised him for his quick uptake and his skills, but none of his flight lessons have gone as quickly and successfully right at the first attempt as his dancing lessons had done all those years ago.

Mistress Honeycut had never praised him of course, quite the opposite. She'd actually seemed angry at him for his quick learning and more than just a little bit displeased that she never had to teach him the steps a second time, and John suspects that it was because she'd earned less money due to his flawless performance on the dance floor.

The other possibility is too horrible even for him to think it to the end – namely that Mistress Honeycut had developed a special romantic interest in his father and had therefore been angry that her days on the Sheppard estate had been limited to the absolutely necessary amount of time.

He was fifteen when his father decided that his son and heir needed to learn how to sway a beautiful young lady over the wooden parquet of a dance floor, and more than twenty years have passed since then, but he still remembers each and every step the perfect role model for Lady Dracula has taught him so long ago, and these lessons will soon come in handy now.

It won't be the young lady his father had in mind that he'll sway around, but an ancient space vampire instead, but the procedure will be the same, and the only problem is that John needs to get his hands on the right equipment and music for the lessons he wants to teach Todd. (One small part of him wonders which of the two of them is actually scarier: His special alien space vampire – or rather Mistress Honeycut – and he can't help but think that the old lady would even be able to teach a proper Wraith the meaning of fear. Said Wraith would probably also catch a serious stomach bug after sucking her of what little she might have to offer, and John's evil mind comes up with all sorts of pictures of an even more greenish Wraith clutching his stomach and wailing in pain – and the interesting question whether or not Wraith are able to throw up...)

But back to business and the task at hand.

Finding the right location is actually the easiest thing as Atlantis offers a lot of not used rooms that are also big enough to serve as a proper dancing hall, but getting the music they'll need for Todd's next lessons proves itself to be much more difficult, and John admits defeat at last and enters Woolsey's office a couple of hours later with sweaty hands and the expression of a student that has forgotten to do his homework for the third time in a week.

“Colonel Sheppard, what can I do for you?” Woolsey gazes up at him through his glasses, and John tries to smile his crooked smile, but it's more coming out like a pained grimace – judging by the way Woolsey's left eyebrow travels upwards in both concern and mistrustful expectation.

“Uhm, I need your help, Richard,” John says, rubbing the nape of his neck like he's always doing when he's feeling uncomfortable or embarrassed.

“Yes, that's what you came here for, right?” the civilian leader of Atlantis offers not very helpfully in return, and John bites down on his bottom lip. It's clear to see that Woolsey enjoys keeping him on tenterhooks for a while, and that he won't meet John halfway to make this any easier for him.

“I... I promised someone to give them dancing lessons, but I don't have the right music here in Atlantis to do that, waltz music and so on, I mean...”

Woolsey's right brow joins its companion in the middle of his forehead, and he looks actually surprised when he asks: “You can dance, Colonel Sheppard? I wouldn't have thought that this was actually part of your training when you joined the Air Force.”

John swallows, and he would rather sit on a dentist's chair now – or fight against a bunch of angry Wraith somewhere on board a Hive – than have this conversation with Richard Woolsey. Something tells him that the older man is a damn good dancer who could surely teach him some lessons Mistress Honeycut forgot to teach him.

“Uhm, it wasn't part of my training. But my father insisted that I'd take dancing lessons when I was a teenager.” he explains, and Woolsey hums thoughtfully.

“I see. I mean no offense, Colonel Sheppard, but this was pretty long ago – that you've been a teenager, I mean. Do you really think that you'll be the right one to teach said... someone... how to dance? I would offer myself for help if you'd like me to help you with this rather difficult task. Learning how to dance properly is not as easy as it looks like at first sight.”

The mere thought of watching Mr. Woolsey give Todd dancing lessons makes sweat break out on John's forehead and gives his usually healthy skin color an astonishing greenish shade.

“Aren't you well, John? You look a little pale,” Richard inquires worriedly, and John hurries to smile at him, which turns into another grimace – as if he was really needing the aid of a dentist and not just asking his superior for some waltz music.

“Ah, no, thank you, I'm perfectly fine, and your offer is generous, but your help is not needed. Mistress Honeycut was a very skilled dance instructor, and I still remember all of her lessons as if it had been just yesterday,” he blurts out, and Woolsey nods his head with just the right amount of sincerity.

“Mistress Honeycut, I see. She must have left a lasting impression on you, then.”

John grimaces for a third time. “She did. What about the music, Richard? Can you help me with that?” he wants to know, and Woolsey smiles politely at him – a real smile, not a grimace – and nods his head.

“Of course, John. I'm sure that I can provide you with the music you need to teach that... lady... how to dance. You don't want to tell me who _she_ is?”

“Uhm, no, _she_ is rather shy about that and wants to keep our dancing lessons a secret. Can I count on you that you will keep this confidential, Richard?” John murmurs, and Woolsey's smile deepens and shows all of his teeth as he says:

“My lips will be sealed, Colonel, do not worry about that!”

*~*~*

Everything is ready when John sneaks Todd through the corridors to one of the deserted sections of the ancient city later on that evening, so no one will see them and find out about their secret. He'd set up the laptop with the thumb drive earlier and even gone so far to sweep the floor himself, even though Atlantis is normally a self-cleaning city and sweeping the floors is actually nothing that belongs to John's usual tasks, but better be safe than sorry, right?

“I'm really curious about your dancing lessons, Sheppard,” Todd announces when they enter the empty hall, “I don't think that I remember that I have ever seen any member of your expedition team dance so far. Is that something humans on Earth do often? Our worshipers love to dance when they're coming together for a celebration, but these dances are more ritual dances and not meant to woo a possible mating partner.”

John has to swallow against the sudden lump in his throat when Todd mentions a possible 'mating partner' – because it's quite clear to the hazel-eyed colonel that the Wraith is referring to Dr. Keller with that – but he schools his features into another smile-like grimace.

“Oh yes, humans on Earth love to dance. And even though a lot of our cultures know such ritual dances as well, but nowadays it's mostly for fun and courtship.”

“I see. So I assume that you enjoyed yourself when you learned dancing – as you offered to teach me this certainly useful skills so willingly?” the ancient Commander gazes down at him, and John shrugs his shoulder.

“Hmm, actually not that much. Mistress Honeycut – my dancing teacher – was not the person to make her lessons be a fun event, but at least they left a lasting impression on me, and I never forgot the steps she taught me,” John says, and the Wraith inclines his head questioningly.

“I see,” Todd repeats bemusedly as he frowns in confusion. “It's really kind of you that you're yet willing to be of help and teach me your Earthen dances, then. Mistress Honeycut, hmm. This name actually indicates that I would imagine a pretty and nice lady behind it...”

This time John doesn't try to make his grimace appear as a smile. “Imagine Lord Dracula as a female, then you have a very good image of 'my' Mistress Honeycut,” he mutters with a roll of his eyes, and the Wraith's frown deepens.

“I understand. Well, you surely don't look like Lord Dracula, Sheppard. Your appearance is actually pleasing to the eye tonight – just like it usually is – so I have no complaints about my dancing teacher to deliver to you.”

“I'm glad to hear that, Todd, and well, thank you.” John is wearing a black shirt and dark jeans, without a jacket this time, and he stalks over to the table to start the music for the first lesson he wants to teach his uncommon student, and mostly because he can turn his head away this way to hide his face from the Wraith because his cheeks have reddened at the compliment.

The first tunes waft through the air soon enough, and John goes back to where Todd is waiting for him in the middle of the empty hall, watching him with dark-golden eyes and a strange expression on his face. John would call it 'hungry' if he didn't know it better. It must be the moonlight shining through the window and which is throwing shadows over Todd's alien male features, John tells himself. He has fed only recently, and his romantic interest belongs to Jennifer, so he must have been mistaken here, and Todd is not looking at him as if he wanted to have him for dessert.

“Are you ready for your first lesson, Todd?” he asks when he has cleared his voice, and the ancient Commander bares his teeth to the Wraith equivalent of a smile.

“Whenever you are, Sheppard,” he gives back, and John straightens his shoulders and steps beside him.

“Very well, look and listen carefully, then. This is slow waltz, and the basic step is like that: one, two, three... one, two, three... and again...”

John starts to move his feet, and the Wraith follows them with surprising ease and talent quickly. The hazel-eyed colonel is relieved that he still remembers all of the steps and moves and loses himself in his task completely, so much actually that he doesn't notice that Todd's eyes are not directed at his feet but at his glowing handsome features the whole time.

*~*~*

Because of the lack of a female partner, John has to play the role of the courted lady when it comes to finally trying Todd's newly gained dancing skills out.

“Put your left hand on my back, right where my shoulder blade is, and with your right hand you have to hold my left one and bend your elbow like this,” John instructs him when he deems his Wraith student to be ready to dance his first real Viennese waltz. They have practiced slow waltz and Viennese waltz, rumba, foxtrot and tango, and the next time he'd looked at his watch after they had started, John had been surprised to see that three hours had gone by already.

They will need to practice some more if Todd really wants to impress Jennifer, but he should at least be able to dance slow waltz and Viennese waltz with her soon, and John is proud of himself that he's done a rather good job.

Now he only needs to find out whether or not his student is as skilled when it comes to actually dancing with a real partner as he was when it came to mirroring John's steps.

“As you wish, Sheppard!” Todd inclines his head and puts his off-hand on John's shoulder blade like he's been told to do, his glove-covered right taking John's left and pulling him close to his strong body.

“Ufff,” John gasps when he finds himself pressed against the tall and broad frame of his student, and he tries to bring some distance between Todd and himself, but it's to no avail as the Wraith clings to him for dear life and starts to sway him around as if said life depended on dancing Viennese waltz right here and now.

“Uhu, not that tight, Todd. Viennese waltz is not a dance where you have to hold your lady so close with their long dresses and crinolines getting in the way anyway!” John tries to explain in between the swaying and turning, and the ancient Commander gazes down at him with a frown, but he doesn't let go of John and continues to swirl over the floor with him in perfect three-four time.

“I'm not sure that I know what a 'crinoline' is, Sheppard, and you're not wearing a long dress, but some rather tightly fitting pants that accentuate your backside pretty much as I couldn't help but notice while we were practicing, and I have been the Commander of Queens for long enough to be familiar with long dresses and how to avoid stepping onto their trains and long skirts,” the Wraith shrugs John's worries away, just to add with an appraising look in his glittering eyes:

“Do you think that Jennifer will be angry with me when I hold her too close while we're dancing? I thought dancing with her would help me coming closer to my possible future mating partner...”

John stumbles over his own two feet – which _never_ happened when he had to dance Viennese waltz with Mistress Honeycut – and Todd frowns again and then just lifts him up and turns and sways with him through the hall as if the floundering human in his arms would weigh nothing.

“TODD! Let me down!” John hears himself shout because their closeness is doing _things_ to him that will quickly get out of hand and become truly embarrassing for both of them if Todd will continue to hold him as tight as he's doing, and his head is already spinning and dizzy from all the swirling, swaying and turning.

Todd looks displeased but lowers him down again after three more turns at last, and John has to hold onto his black coat to catch his breath for a moment.

“You're a quick learner, Todd, that's for sure. I think we can assume safely that Dr. Keller will be impressed by your dancing skills without further practice!” he gasps out when the room stops spinning around him after two or three more minutes and he feels stable enough to step back and release Todd's coat from his desperate grip again.

“I see, thank you, Sheppard,” Todd gives his agreement with a short bow of his head and a disappointed expression, but he's too polite to insist on trying another one of the dances he's just learned tonight.

“So which lesson will come next?” he only wants to know, and John feels a sudden pang of regret shoot through him because there aren't any more lessons he could teach the Wraith.

“I've taught you all lessons you need to know for wooing and courting the lady of your heart,” he says, “now it's time for the final test before you can actually start to court Dr. Keller.”

“I see, and what will this test include?” Todd asks curiously, the strange sparks in his eyes becoming stronger and more visible.

“You'll have to prove to me that you've been an eager student and learned all of them by heart. So you'll have to invite me for dinner, watch a movie with me and dance with me, not necessarily in this order,” John says before he can stop himself, because he's too damn selfish to just leave it at that and not spend one last special evening with his student – the Wraith he secretly desires himself so much, but who's unfortunately only interested in a certain blonde doctor.

The ancient Commander regards him for a moment, and then he inclines his head once more.

“I will do my very best to prove myself as your worthy student, Sheppard,” he says, “but the preparations for this test will take some time.”

“That's okay, Todd, really, I can wait,” John croaks out, and then they sneak their way back to Todd's quarters in Atlantis and the only thing John can think of is that he only has a few days left to come up with a plan to show Todd that he's wanting to woo the wrong person.

But how do you actually tell an ancient Wraith Commander that you're in love with them and want him for yourself?

John has no idea, and unfortunately, there is also no one he can ask for help about this, neither one of his team members and friends, nor Mr. Woolsey, Todd himself – or Jennifer Keller.

John sighs and goes back to his own quarters after staring at the closed door to Todd's for a long time, and the question how he can make Todd fall in love with him as well within the next two or three days follows him into his restless slumber and haunted dreams.


End file.
